Taking my own advice

My last blog post was a bit of advice about sharing your troubles and triumphs and seeking out a network of support.  I don’t give advice very often, so when I do, I make sure it is something worth listening to.  Since I know that this last bit of advice was valuable, I am taking it upon myself to follow it, and to reach out to you, dear reader, for support.

First–my triumphs!  After my vacation to Texas, Colorado, and Utah, it took at least another three weeks for me to add any semblance of exercise back into my routine.  As each day passed, then each week, I felt more and more discouraged.  How was I ever going to get back on track?  How much progress had I lost?  What was going to happen when I tried that first push-up or set out to run that first mile?  Then something happened that forced me to get started: I tried on my bridesmaid’s dress for my friend’s upcoming wedding, only to discover that it didn’t fit.  I was devastated.  Had I really put on that much weight in those few weeks?  And what was I going to do?  The wedding was five weeks away!  Of course, my dear sweet friend/boyfriend/personal trainer was there by my side.  He said (and still says, even though there are only four weeks remaining), that with a little hard work I will look and feel great in that dress.  But I had to get started.  So one day I set out to run the mile-long loop near my house, expecting disaster.  And you know what?  I ran that whole mile.  Bam.  I was shocked, and proud.  I was not starting back at square one!  Hooray!  I have since done a few short workouts and am still feeling a profound sense of relief that I am not starting over from scratch.

And now, my troubles.  Although I have done a few workouts, my exercise routines are not as strong as they were.  I don’t have the same mentality and focus that I had before.  I find myself trying to postpone my workouts, and make up excuses or reasons avoid them.  In addition, my healthy eating habits are still struggling to recover from my vacation, and I know I need to make that change if I’m going to reach my goal of fitting in that dress in four weeks.

So I’m reaching out to you, dear friends, with the hope that you can give some suggestions or advice or insight or motivation to help me stay on track and keep making changes for the better.  What helps you make that initial jump?  What helps you stay focused and committed?  What keeps you going when the going gets tough?

I greatly appreciate your suggestions and inspiration.  Thank you for all your love and support!!

May musings

Well, it’s the middle of May and I haven’t posted in a while.  It has been an interesting couple of weeks for me–at times very lonely and discouraging, and at times very hopeful and powerful.

Although my journey has only just begun, I can say with certainty that the last three weeks have been transformative.

First of all, to revisit my goals.  Goal 1 was to finish my cleaning project–check!  Check out my blog post The Day I Accidentally Started Cleaning the Entire House for details.  Goal 2 was to get internet at my house.  I did that!  I’ve worked out an agreement with my neighbors and I am sharing their internet; a great deal all around.  Goal 3: Start a fitness program.  I’m…. gonna revisit this in a second….  And goal 4, start to eat better.  I’m doing pretty well at this.  I’ve started cooking at home more, eating more fruits and veggies, and eating less junk food and desserts.  It feels great!

Ok, so about my “fitness program.”  Now is the time to mention that I struggle with some other health problems as well.  I’ll keep it simple: I have been struggling with chronic back and knee pain for about five years now, along with various other discomforts.  No doctor, chiropractor, or physical therapist has been able to treat me on a comprehensive level and make me feel like I was on my way to a pain-free body.  About two weeks ago I was talking with a friend of mine and I had a bit of a breakdown.  I started crying and confessed that while I tried to think optimistically and visualize myself being stronger and more flexible and pain free, I couldn’t do it.  I literally cannot imagine what it would feel like to be without these limitations.  My friend offered to help me work out, to push myself, body and mind, to overcome these obstacles on my own.  I was very hesitant, but I agreed.

On day 1, I kept wondering what the hell I was thinking.  He pushed me harder than I’ve ever worked before.  I was dizzy, my head was pounding, I was nauseous.  He’s extremely lucky that I didn’t throw up in his backyard.  At one point I fell over because I was so exhausted I couldn’t stand.  And he told me to get up.  And then run sprints.  On day 2, I didn’t fall to the ground.  But I did cry.  On day 3, I fell down again.  And then I got up and ran sprints.  I cried some more.

I have a vile string of curse words running through my head before, during, and after these workouts.  But you know what?  I am no longer wondering what the hell I was thinking.

Because something has changed.

I have changed.

It’s like we took all my weaknesses and insecurities and lined them up right in front of me and decreed, “Heather, you have no choice but to conquer these.”  And some how, some way, I did.  Not definitively, of course.  Not forever.  It will take much more hard work to lay them to rest.  But I have accomplished things that I never thought I could do.  I have pushed myself through pain I never thought I could endure.  I have kept going when I thought it was impossible.

And I will never forget what that feels like.

“You never know what you can do until you have to do it.”  -Betty Ford

Spring is blossoming in the mountains.  Maybe it is my time too.

April showers bring May flowers

April showers bring May flowers… I hope.

April was certainly a rainy month for me.  In the spirit of spring, I am hopeful that May will be filled with growth and blossoming and new beginnings.

I have this picture hanging on my wall as a homemade collage and it bears this quote:

“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.”  -Thoreau

With the goal of making positive changes for my health and well-being, I have set some New Month Resolutions for myself.  The kind of changes I’m looking for don’t happen on their own, and it isn’t good enough for me to spend my hours and days wishing things were different.  So with this intention, I have set the following resolutions for the month of May:

First, finish my epic apartment cleaning project!  This should only take a few more days; I’m hoping to have some pictures to post by Monday.

Second, get an internet connection at my house.  It’s finally getting to me that I don’t have internet, and now that I’m blogging, I’m probably spending more money going to coffee shops than I would be paying for the connection.  I also want to be able to do research on prolactinomas, alternative treatments, and natural and holistic health and wellness

Third, start a fitness program.  I recently bought a groupon for a gym near my house, so I need to go in and get a tour and maybe sign up for a session with a personal trainer so I can remember how to use all the equipment.  I have also found a great yoga studio, so I would like to try out a few new classes and find the ones that work best for my schedule and for my goals.

Finally, start to eat better.  Just the basic stuff for now, until I get some other aspects of my life settled down and can do some research.  Eliminate high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, artificial sweeteners, and caffeine; reduce processed sugar and while flour; add a few more servings of fresh fruits and veggies; make more meals at home and eat out less; and stay hydrated.

I’m hopeful (and determined) that by the end of May, I can (and will) look back at this post and recognize that I have successfully accomplished these four goals.  Bring on those May flowers!